I heard your voice yesterday…

…thought not via sound. My phone had rang and immediately I had jumped up, my heart pumping, to see who it was. Visions (fantasies) of her calling to beg for us to be together again begun to unfold in my head. She would say she was wrong, she would suggest counseling for both of us, for herself, completely allow herself to be open and vulnerable to what we thought we had had…

But, of course, it wasn’t her And, of course, that ridiculous fantasy would never happen.

However, it does illustrate the turmoil inside. I know I need someone else, someone better, someone who does not lie to themselves daily about how the world should be… and although I know these are things I need I still long for her.

Letting go was never an easy thing for me. Maybe it never will.