Inside Your Ugly.. Ugly Like me….
One of life’s greatest tragedies is the inevitable lesson that no matter how hard you fight it, how many walls you throw out in front of yourself, or how introverted you think yourself to be… you’re going to put your faith in someone. Someone you believe to be amazing and wonderful. And everything is great.
At least for a while.
Until the day they let you down. Then the pedestal crumbles and the projected image of the person you thought you were with begins to fade. And all of a sudden, almost as if it was overnight, you realize Hey, this isn’t what I fucking signed up for, this isn’t the man/woman i fell in love with, where did you get lost along the way?
Misplaced faith is a bitch.
And you, bring me to my knees again
All the times that I could beg you please, in vain
All the times that I’ve felt insecure for you
And I leave my burdens at the door
Chorus
But I’m on the outside and I’m looking in
I can see through you, see your true colors
‘Cause inside you’re ugly, you’re ugly like me
I can see through you, see to the real you
All the times, that I felt like this won’t end
It’s for you
And I taste what I could never have
It was from you
All the times that I’ve cried
My intentions were full of pride
But I waste more time than anyone
Chorus
All the times that I’ve cried
All this wasted, it’s all inside
And I feel all this pain
I stuffed it down, it’s back again
And I lie here in bed
All alone, I can’t mend
But I feel, tomorrow will be okay
Chorus
September 8, 2008 at 3:42 am
The real bitch of it is that you *know* that history is bound to repeat itself.
That this is a cycle that will replay in your life over and over again.
The light at the end of the tunnel is that one day you will place your faith in the right person.
And that’s why we keep doing what we do.
September 8, 2008 at 3:46 am
and what happens when no more faith is left to give?
September 8, 2008 at 12:03 pm
I don’t know that history necessarily has to repeat itself – there are those who learn from what they’ve been thru and are more conscious of the signs moving forward. Some pay attention and avoid making those same “mistakes” and some walk blindly into them again and again… It’s up to each of us to decide which one of those people that we will be. (I know this must sound completely asinine coming from ME of all people)
Find your faith…
September 8, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Speaking from experience, I know that I expect WAY TOO MUCH from people and am often let down. Like Lillith said … there may be a light at the end of the tunnel … BUT I think for people like me, I’ve just got to learn that we’re all HUMAN and that sooner or later, we’re all gonna be let down. It goes both ways you know … I’m sure I’ve done my share of “letting down” too.
September 8, 2008 at 5:56 pm
(Another fantastic song. You have good taste in music!)
I understand very much where you are coming from. I think most people can.
I trained myself to not open up and be vulnerable to anyone…until recently. It all started so quietly and innocently…when I noticed what was happening it was too late, and I didn’t care. I saw the ending already, and I knew I was in for world of pain…but I wanted to feel what I was feeling. I knew that by embracing those few moments of hope, it would cost me greatly.
And they did.
BUT: I am glad that I opened myself up. I have been so closed off, for so long, it was like moving from black and white to Technicolor. I know I’m older than you, and I would hate to see you spend the next decade the way I spent the last. I was “safe”, but I look back in regret of all that I missed.
Experience, good and bad, shape and mold us…build our character. The best thing would be to remain open, but cautious.
But…who am I to tell you anything?
September 9, 2008 at 5:03 am
There is always more to give.
Though, we may not always realize it.